Christmas

Well it has been far to long since I have "blogged". Since my podcast is on a break, and my school work is done for month, it's time for me to complain about the world once again. What better way to start this rant but with my problems with Christmas.

Mariah Carey...I may have murdered that spelling. If you realized this, you are more than likely a faggot. Listen, I know she is a great pop-star and all, and she is of course going to cover Christmas songs. My problem is her newly created Christmas carol. No Mariah, no. You are NOT allowed to do such a thing to the art of Christmas tunes. How dare you curse the wonders and magic of the holiday by making a terrible, typical mainstream song about love...and just make it Christmas. You should be hung for this. Only Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby are allowed touch Christmas tunes (along with a few others of the classics).

Pink Fake Christmas Tree...as if fake Christmas trees didn't piss me off enough, some retarded company decided to make one that's bright pink. WHY!? What part of Christmas tells you to go out and purchase a neon pink tree. "oh, but it's so modern". Dear Lord Baby Jesus! Christmas isn't meant to be a freak show modern art gallery! It's about tradition, family, friends, Jesus, and joy....and a giant orgy if you are pagan....but still. ANYWAY! This whole idea of a pink Christmas tree....only 13 year old girls should ever be like "lyke OMG! Itz pynk?!?!?! OOOOOOOO get it get it get it!!!!!1111" and the fathers should smack her and say "really?" That's how that should happen and no other way.

Inflatable Santa, Snowman, Grinch, etc...How much cornier can you be? Do you REALLY think that looks nice? Do you REALLY think people are going to say "oohhhhh...they DEFINITELY didn't get that at WALMART"? You trailer trash pieces of crap. There is ZERO class in giant inflatable anything's! End of story. I really can't say much more about this other than someone should pop them.

and last but certainly not least...

A Miser Brother's Christmas...this is a new movie that some jerkwads decided would be a great idea. "oh, let's rip off the best claymation ever created in the entire world". No...not a good idea. Snow Miser and Heat Miser are some of the best characters ever thought up. They have an amazing role in The Year Without A Santa Claus. That is where their role ends. Not in this corny animated movie that stars them and some sort of child-friendly plot showing how working together can...(vomit). Those guys were some crazy creatures that wanted everything for themselves! They wanted to conquer land and cause severe temperatures in those locations. They tried to shoot down two elves on a baby reindeer!!! How can you beat that!? This piece of crap should be burned and never played again. And don't even get me started with them re-doing the best songs of all time.

Christmas is full of amazing things...but douchebags LOVE to try and douche it up. Don't be one of those people this holiday season. Thanks a lot =]

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

-Ryan Merwine

CrazyGlueTV on Facebook

"i like it..."

Sooner or later I am going to need to just do a post on stupid facebook fads, but befor that happens, i need a short rant about "i like it..." This all started up about...well I noticed it today anyway. Girls have been posting where the like SOMETHING. It's supposed to seem like sex, but I'm pretty sure it's not really that. So they will post "i like it on my bed", "i like it on the floor", "i like it in my car" etc. The fact that I saw these didn't really piss me off. It actually just pissed me off to realize how robotic humans are. They see someone do this, ask about it, and then just do it themselves. What the hell is the matter with people. I feel stupid being angry over facebook but really now...come on people. That's all I have to say about this issue really. I need to study and have a podcast to do soon. I just wish people were some darn stupid.

"The truth is..."

I'm not sure when this started but it pissed me off IMMEDIATELY. Last night I was looking at my facebook homepage to see what was up...and all i saw was "truth is you are super pretty"..."truth is you are my best friend ever". And i'm like...wtf is up with everyone starting out with "truth is..."? So i then found out it's because people put there status updates as "and the truth is..." or "truth is....like this and i'll tell you". AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKED IT?!?! Are you seriously that full of yourself or in that much need to hear good things about you that you needed to like that status. You are practically begging for that person to say something nice to you. What the hell is the matter with people. First of all to put that up as your status...and for the people to actually like it? You are the most pathetic worthless kids I have ever seen. Why not just make your status "listen...i have no self confidence and need a boost...please lie to me so i can feel good". Is this another spread the love act? Part of me feels like i should do it just so i can rip into people and not make them feel good but tell them the TRUTH!!! This may have made me as angry as "you would" does. This is just evidence that this world is getting dumber and more and more pathetic! Truth is...you should kill yourself!

-Merwine

CrazyGlueTV

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Halo Reach

So...I don't understand the big deal for this new game. Bungie comes out with ANOTHER halo game?! Has the public not had enough of this? Listen bungie, you have TONS of other games that you can work on like....uhhh...alright, never mind. I forgot, BUNGIE HAS NOTHING ELSE! And come on now, the title...halo reach?...really? Listen Bungie, all of your fans have already switched over to Call of Duty, so just give up already. The only ones who are sticking by are the people with no friends, or still living in their parents basement. Thankfully for you, America is full of them. Poor poor souls. In conclusion, Halo Reach is going to be worse than Halo ODST. Keep REACHing out for your bottle you little children who play awful games like this.

-Merwine

America is getting dumber!

As the world progresses, so does technology. As some countries progress, it's not so much their technology but their way of living that seems to grow and develop. Well not here in America. Listen guys...I know we have crazy computers. I know we are creating robots to do everything for us. I know hardly anything needs to be done by hand now. I have something to say about this, and I don't think I can stress this enough....THIS DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE GETTING SMARTER. I can't deny that our technology is getting pretty darn amazing, but i do not believe this means we are getting more intelligent. We are getting lazier and lazier and the new technology are mostly things that make us think LESS. We as Americans think "well golly, we got to the moon and know about space and junk". Ok?...and this makes us smarter becuase? "well....not many other people can say this!" ...ok? and not many people can say they have 6 dicks...but does this make them more intelligent? What some of you don't know, is that other countries are much more developed than us. "BUT RYAN! We clearly have better things that are mass produced and we can buy!" Yes, this I know...I don't need to be reminded that we are consumer whores. Listen everyone...France has better health care than us, and can go home for lunch with their families while they are working. "pfft...but we don't have as many diseases and we have fast food and vending machines!" Yes, i realize that we have great condoms and are obese as hell, but France was able to figure out a way to save money or to somehow financial do all of this. What did we do...made the slap chop? added another pron site? figured out how to put a horse feeder on a human? Yeah, pretty much. Also, have you looked at TV? The new thing to get a laugh is getting kicked in the balls. The sad part is, I'm sure some of you laughed at just reading that.

Summing all of this up, the one way I can definitely tell we are getting super retarded is that we think we aren't! That's when you know you are stupid...when you are in denial. I mentioned in my psych class today that we are getting dumber. NOT ONE PERSON AGREED. But I did have like 3 people argue me saying that we are more intelligent. One girl gave an example that the kindergarten kids are learning things they should in first grade! Wow! And my professor said IQ scores are going up. OMG! Well there goes my whole argument....NOT. Listen...that's because other countries are already soooo much farther ahead than us. They are learning things in kindergarten that our 3rd graders learn. And IQ scores...who made the IQ test up? You can answer that yourself. Listen, if you don't think America is getting dumber, you have already fallen into the stage of denial and you help support my argument. So thank you for being an idiot =]

*this whole blog included myself since I am an American. Every one of these examples, you can count me being apart of.

For further explanation on this, watch the movie Idiocracy. It's more of a documentary than a comedy to me.

-Merwine